Don’t read another long post
Although I hate this school but I really don’t want to leave high school.
Life will be tougher for me after high school and I’m reluctant to leave without any memories.
I had been in 3 different primary schools and I’m in the third high school, again.
Everyone has their unforgettable high school memories but I don’t have any.
First primary school, no friends and I was just a respected class monitor.
Second primary school in Petaling Jaya, no friends too, always alone during recess.
What I remember was the third primary school because I had REAL friends.
Xiao Wei, Jean, Jacqueline and Bee Ling. Five bad girls in the first class.
We played hard behind the teacher’s back but studied hard in front of the teacher.
The incident I couldn’t forget was Xiao Wei splashing water on some girls who insulted Jacqueline.
I took revenge on a guy who slapped Bee Ling, I slapped him back and his mouth bled, O_O
Yes, I defend and protect my friends, I was nearly suspended because of that.
I know Jean won’t forget about this because the guy is her boyfriend now, HAHA!
I miss them, this was the happiest time I had.
After graduation, I was separated from them.
The first high school I went, alone.
Started to get close to Amanda, Sze Hwei and Janet after 2years.
Everything just started well but unfortunately, I had to shift school again due to family issue.
The second high school in Kuala Lumpur was a nightmare, backstabbing and gossiping.
The third high school which I used to love the most because I thought I had friends.
Too bad, just my imagination and expectation.
Things didn’t go well and I was repelled.
Never mind, I’m kinda used to it, everything is destined.
Staying alone makes me feel so sad and lonely but I have no choice because this is my life.
Never mind, this phrase comforts me a lot.
Yesterday, a Chinese teacher first talked to me, not a deep conversation but she told me this
“Your life is bitter now but I know that your life will be sweet in the future”
Yeah, I really hope so. I swear that I’ll do good when I have a chance to be successful.
Never mind, when you feel sad, cry. After you cry, go to bed.
You still have to live tomorrow and tomorrow will be a better day.
Try not to care about people that hurt you before.
Some people just like to attack your weak point and take advantages from you.
Hence, don’t let it happen, stay tough.
This is how I live my life now, trying to be optimistic.
Yes, true, I still have a friend, Jane.
I’m a dedicated friend, I’ll treat you even better if you treat me well.
Jane definitely plays an important role in my life.
We have friends, I have 4000 friends in Facebook but how many of them really care about you?
Just sometimes sending you a message through Facebook like “Babe, I miss you”
Nah, that’s not what I call a true and sincere friendship.
Friends keep in touch, Jane and I talk everyday through text messages, calls, Facebook, MSN.
I used to chat with Ixxxx almost everyday too, this never happened again after some issues.
I surrender as I failed so many times to clear up misjudgments and misunderstandings.
A strong friendship is challenging, I’m always glad to have Jane and my darling girls.
Friends are busy doing research about colleges to go.
I’m different as I only think about earning money day and night.
It’s not that I need to work to support my family, my life is good.
I just want to give my mum everything that she owned but lost in a sudden.
Want to do things that her daughter’s dad is no longer able to do for her.
Wonder what’s my ambition? A nutritionist, pharmacist or a dentist will do.
However, that’s not my dream. A successful fashion designer that owns a brand/label is my dream.
Study together with Jane and see her everyday in college.
Cooperate with her and work things out together to reach the top, that’s what I want.
Still, I’m not planning to do further studies, don’t ask why.
I’m not stupid, I can study.
However, I’m dumb because I don’t want to study.
I just can’t concentrate no matter how I force or motivate myself to.
Too many dramas in my life, always get involved in matters that are nothing to do with me.
SPM starts on the next week but I’m shaking my legs and feel nothing for it.
I did “study”, I looked at the book but nothing went into my head.
I’ll be regret, I know, but I just can’t study, I have too many things in my head.
UPSR, what I did was wasting time and playing around.
Result came out with my friends getting straight A’s but me with 6A’s.
I felt ashamed, disgraced, regretted and promised myself to study hard for PMR.
PMR was the same thing, all I had in my mind was my ex boyfriend.
Even skipped intensive classes to see him. Stupid and childish girl.
I got my result paper with 6A’s when the others got straight A’s.
I was embarrassed and swore to work hard for SPM.
I want my mum to feel proud of me for at least once as I already disappointed her twice.
Shit happened again. Shifted school when I was form4, totally lost concentration on studying.
What I did was sneaking out at night and skipping school.
What about form5? Love, boyfriend, relationship, family, friends.
Not one went well, failure is the word, hopeless is the thinking.
I don’t know what I’m doing now.
The only subject that I am confident to score A is Moral studies.
I find myself so useless.
I just can’t make myself happy when I go to school, when I’m at home.
I just can’t empty my mind with living in the past and thinking about the past.
I don’t want to but every single thing reminds me of the past.
I only feel happy when I hang out with Jane and darling girls or when my family comes together.
Sometimes people lecture me “You’re luckier than an African that starves everyday”
I don’t think so, I would rather be an African.
Their life is just about getting food for themselves, their children, making babies, nothing much.
Lucky people won’t know how to appreciate but turn arrogant and crave for luxurious life.
An African only thinks of food, they don’t know what’s Ferrari, what’s Louis Vuitton.
I don’t think they had ever tasted Mc.Donalds.
Rice is enough for them WHILE I’m wasting food without finishing my meal.
Make sense right?
Just hope that people around me feel comfortable with me.
That’s enough.
Ya ya, I talked too much, maybe I just need some motivation.
I’ll try to make myself study now.
I’m so immature, I suppose that older readers are thinking that I’m so childish.
Forgive me that I’m only 17, still too young to think wise like others.
Somehow, I wish to be a nerd that studies really hard.
ps: I changed a Cantonese song which I’m addicted to it now.
I find it really relaxing although I don’t understand Cantonese well.
So, don’t ask me what does it mean because I don’t really understand too.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
this song is nice…
erm, time will heal everything girl..
sometimes simple phrases may helpful or build u up..
exmp, u love ur mum, ur mum will hope that her daughter can live happily
then why dont u jz think lk this, happy still need to go on, unhappy still need to go on, why dont just go on without think too much sometimes ne?
appreciate all those bitter/sweet memories, it will lead u to another stage
so, stay positive ya =) *cheers*
November 10th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
well,i had read ur post today ,twice…cause,is meaningful,i don really understand wat happened on ur life b4,but i just go thru…hmm,i got the same friendship like urs,nobody care abt me,i don have a real best friend in my life,they cheated me,i cried,i totally lost my way to stay happily,as ur friend say”happy or not also need to go on,why not just go on withoout thinking so much?”yea,so do i.sometimes i asked myself,why this happened on me?why they got best friend?i don have?still thinking abt this issue till now,im 18 still remain the same…is pain ful,heart everyday aching,i wan to donate my heart after i die,but now i spoiled it like tat…who still wan huh?haha~im emo-ing today…………………………………………………..
November 10th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
加油
November 10th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
hi(=
cheer up
b hapi^^
u have frens around u…
especially chuckei rite?!
u 2 r reli reli gud fwens
which i wish i have one too
i think i might have same situation wif u..
yes…net frens ..frens a lot
but wad abt true frens??
i dun think i reli hav one which is owez cares abt me…
love to read ur blog(=
November 10th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
go Daphne! XD Score A for moral! I think I’m the same case as you, scored 6As in UPSR and PMR but sad thing is I studied like crazy and I somehow believed that I actually got the 6A curse. SPM is over and the results I got, still suck but more than 6As lar but still cannot achieve straight A’s. Government exams just spoil people’s dreams but don’t worry, I know you can do it that’s why as your reader, I’ll always support you and one day all of us will clap hands for you.
November 10th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
u’re welcum(=..
nice to knw u…
November 10th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
[...] Read the original post: Imma hitcha. » Blog Archive » Another one [...]
November 10th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
hahaaaa,yea.u’re right,u said ur life is dramatic,but u gain lot of life experience,learn how to protect urself,is good to u too…^^i don have bf,im all alone,got friends but they don talk heart,they just passengers
November 10th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
i dont know what can i say here
just agree what you wrote in this post
friends really improtant in life
——=)
friends really make me HEADACHE!
UGh!
cheer uP!~
i love to read your blog“
November 10th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
well, i always believe everyone is lucky in some ways n surely they will be unlucky in other ways…
because this is LIFE…
we were really shock to see our names…
n really shock to know that u are sad n depressed…
because we always thought u were happy with ur new school,friends, n felt comfortable with it…
once, u were really a very cheerful girl…
*still remembered the way u laugh n the serious expressions when u were teaching us, everyone having fun in ur hse, we laughed..
u even cried once, because we were not serious…
these might not be great memories…
but these r actually our memories…
the times we shared…
friends r really important…
jane is the light of ur life, but u might not notice that u are someone else’s light…
we might not feel wat u feel but wat we could do is oni cheering u up by these ways…
thats y we could oni support u by reading ur blog n knowing wat happened to u recently…
dont want to say much…
but there r still people who r always supporting u…
some might be true, and some might be fake…
guess u know that…
dont be too upset in life…
because this is how the game goes…
n the game will go on, u must know how it’s suppose to be played…
every step u go might lead u to different things…
so always be ready to face things, good n bad…
no one will go through their live easily…
but everytime u go through trials, u might lose something…
but u’ll gain something too…
u maybe more experience…
sometimes, try to think positive rather than negative…
it really helps alot…
do not do anything that u’ll regret…
because u might regret forever…
have fate in everyting, n in God too…
He knows wats going on…
i really dun wan to keep saying the same thing…
because when words are repeated again n again, its not meaningful anymore…
but we really care…
guess u know wat u’re doing…
little words might really hurt u…
but little words too might cheer up someone…
~just droping by to pass some energy to boost u up…
take some rest n take things positivly…
but dont rest too long ya… haha…
cuz u still have a long way to go girl…
unless u started to hope n pray that the world will end soon…
but until that happen, u have to go on…
u wont know wat will happen in the future…
but ur futute is in ur hands…
wat u do now or go through now might change ur future…
so gambateh…
gosh…
saying too much…
but hope u’ll be back to the original daphne soon…
the happy n cheerful one…
there r people who are waiting for u…^^
November 10th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
once, u were really a very cheerful girl…
*still remembered the way u laugh n the serious expressions when u were teaching us, everyone having fun in ur hse, we laughed..
I’ll come back one day. love u biatch! haha
November 10th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
haha…
really glad u will…
tick tock…
u bunch of crazy people will be waiting…
n remember to get ready before u come back…
if ur remembered our frequency is “quite” different…
cuz are crazy n will be crazy when u return…
~~ THE RETURN OF DAPHNE TAN ~~
guess everyone will be waiting for that…
u might not know people will be crying hor…
haha…
hope it had cheer u up a lil…^^
November 11th, 2009 at 12:08 am
i miss studying.. i think..
working isnt as easy as studying.. i think.. haha.. =P
November 11th, 2009 at 12:57 am
try to read sixthseal’s blog… i think it might helps with what you are facing now…
November 11th, 2009 at 2:26 am
awwwwwww…so sweet of you!
November 11th, 2009 at 3:55 am
dun mean 2 spam…….But u really hav lots of frens at FB….if one people transfer RM 1 to u every week, it will be RM 16 k a month and rm 192K a year…Well,money maybe the root of evil, can’t buy real frens but at least it can make yr dream comes true.
November 11th, 2009 at 9:22 am
hahaha who wanna pay?
November 11th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
wah, reply so early(9.22 am)……I oso haven waken up…..by da way, gud luck 4 yr exam…dun stress yrself 2 much(although u may hear tis always)….it’s really jz SPM, dun mean 2 ask u take it lightly but exam is jz part of yr life….scoring 6 As doesn’t mean that u r a loser, the real world is full of uncertainty, good SPM result is jz a steeping stone for u 2 apply scholarship 2 college, but wun really guarantee yr future.
November 11th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must to be lived fowards =)
November 11th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
傻瓜~
你是最好的你知道吗？
虽然我们不常联络甚至可以说没有联络…
但是你知道吗？
我永远为你保留一个很重要的位置…
在我心中…
或许我们2个自小学6年级毕业的那天开始…
就停留在原地了…
真心朋友…
对我们来说真的可遇不可求…
最近这些年来更是觉得人真的可以戴面具生活…
有时真得很不明白为什么他们可以那么虚伪？
渐渐的…
我们也为自己戴上面具…
我们也变虚伪了吗？
我想…是我们害怕受伤害对吧？
November 11th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
尽力就好，读不进脑是借口，心在哪里只有你自己知道，只是你给自己太大的压力，一个人在家就不要想太多，朋友跟家人不能陪你永远，你要独立，以后的事以后再打算~想太多辛苦的是自己，好好考，考完了带你去kuantan玩~LOLZ~
November 11th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Daphneeeee. I’m surprised you slapped a guy till he bled. o_O. Don’t mess with the Daph? Haha. Just so you know, we do appreciate your friendship here. Kinda miss your lame jokes and all. Haha. Take care. =)
November 11th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Hello, just a passerby…
Just some opinions…
It seems that you aren’t satisfied with yourself…
But that’s a good thing to hear…
It means that you demand things…
You demand to be better…
This is how we grow, I guess…
I know you’re disappointed to miss out that single A in both UPSR & PMR…
I did too… Yet nothing to regret…
You should know well which part of you excels more than the results, ain’t it?
Besides, those are very good results too…
And to be honest, I respect people like you that are able to make good results while playing hard…
LOL… I wrote too much… maybe cuz I’ve thru as much as you did…
You still young, there’s plenty for you in the future…
Just give your best in SPM
Cheers~
November 11th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Hey, just a random reader of your blog. I guess many people gave you their word of advice multiple of times therefore I’ll just give a short one. Remember, cherish your friend Jane because to find a true friend that never backstabs you is really hard, I’ve always thought I’d be able to get a friend like that, never did happen. Don’t overstress yourself for spm, or you’ll get too worked up. Strive hard as this is your own life, don’t give up. Good luck.
November 12th, 2009 at 12:13 am
tell you the truth,i think most of the time sadness is more than happiness for me during that time…楼上的，请尊重下我！ 我不喜欢你说你打到他流血。你明白我的人的，请恕我有话直说。那时候没错，真得很开心，我们有许多童年的回忆哦！我们一起睡觉，吃东西，唱歌，还有很多很多。五个里面最了解我的就是你了，哈哈！我记得我什么都告恕你的哦！打给你，说很久的电话，甚至为了他在电话向你哭诉好几个小时。告诉你一个秘密吧，其实你懂不懂我有时候是为了你和他，而哭得那么凄凉呢？你是我的好友，但我男友当时和你很暧昧。我真的无法释怀！我记得有过这样的一个信息，你要他告诉全部人“我爱陈爱莉”，他真的做了，我记得，当时是在我出国回来几天后，其他人告诉我的。当时的感觉我还很清晰。也许当时我们都还很年轻。我甚至为了他我很讨厌你过，你应该知道吧?！真对不起!我知道我不能那么理智，也许不关你事，但我控制不到。当年的伤，我似乎到现在都还不能痊愈。也许是自私，也许是我和他之间的信任真的很脆弱。我想跟你坦白一切，是因为我真的想放下。放下某些痛苦的记忆。我不敢回首看从前，因为都是不开心地回忆。每个人都有很开心的小学时期，而我的。。。并不是很开心！我不敢想！甚至，我听到朋友问起我小学的东西我都在逃避，我不敢去想，怕眼泪又在流出来。也许对你来说已不算什么，和你已经不记得了。那段友谊，使我有过最美好，最真的友谊！！！！感谢你，你永远是我的好朋友，尽管我们的感情以每以前那么深厚，你还是那位最了解我的人。记得我们有过的快乐时光就好了^^
November 12th, 2009 at 12:19 am
haha, sorry la bro, your bf liked me LAST TIME.
i couldn’t control.
i don’t remember the “我爱陈爱莉” thing hahahaha
but i still made him yours what.
nice hor? should thank me! hahaha
November 12th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Reading your blog always make me tear.
Almost everything reflects my past. My oldd school life.
It hurts badly.
My nightmare started during my high school year.
I also changed 3 high schools.
No good friends, no good buddies, no real friends, no babes, no darlings.
Not even one close friend from my high school.
=,(
Seriously, i only have you girls now…..
November 12th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
And do you remember after movies when we went for drinks at SS2, i said that i don’t have your msn ur phone number and we only keep in touch using facebook and ur blog?
Just wanna say….
I heartz you and the girls deeply…..
Deep down from my heart….. =,)
November 12th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
hahahahaha XDD !en la en la,thank you! <3
=='
November 27th, 2009 at 11:57 am
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May 19th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
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